


Five Howlers that Walburga sent to Sirius

by Woldy



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Education, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humour, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romance, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-26
Updated: 2009-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-05 07:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woldy/pseuds/Woldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The rest of the magical world might use Howlers as a proxy for bad behaviour, but, Sirius decided, that approach was bollocks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Howlers that Walburga sent to Sirius

**Author's Note:**

> Written for wwmrsweasleydo (LJ) the [](http://community.livejournal.com/hp_fivethings/profile)[**hp_fivethings**](http://community.livejournal.com/hp_fivethings/) exchange. Many thanks to nathaniel_hp (LJ) for betaing this fic.

Sirius Black received his first Howler on his second day at Hogwarts. Since nobody else’s parents were expressing displeasure at their sorting — or at least not at such ear-splitting volume — his mother’s diatribe was delivered to the entire school over breakfast. Sirius shrank down in his seat, wishing fervently that he could disappear, as her shrieks about betrayal and dishonour echoed off the walls.

When the Howler finally faded into silence, there was a burst of laughter and then, worst of all, a lot of pitying looks from the other students. Sirius stared at his porridge, unable to face the prospect of eating, and tried to ignore everyone.

“A Howler at your first breakfast!” said an enthusiastic voice from nearby. “_Brilliant._ How d’you manage it?”

Sirius looked up into the grinning face of a boy he’d met on the train, whom Sirius had secretly named Rabid Hedgehog Hair. Yesterday, the boy had seemed good-natured and entertaining, but on current evidence Sirius was forced to conclude that he was mad.

“Why would anybody want to get a Howler?” asked Sirius.

“Well, you’ve pissed them off, haven’t you?” said Rabid Hedgehog Hair, in a tone which implied that this was logic and not crazy-talk. “There’s nothing to stop you from causing all the trouble you want when your parents are already angry. Can’t get any worse! I wish mine would do that.”

Sirius frowned. “You mean your parents don’t yell at you?”

“Never,” Rabid Hedgehog Hair said, glumly. “They just look sad and tell me that they’re _very disappointed._ How is anybody supposed to work up a healthy sense of adventure if their parents won’t tell them off?”

“Has it ever occurred to you,” Sirius said slowly, “that you could just cause trouble anyway?”

“They’ll tell me that they’re _disappointed_.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed, with the hint of a smile, “but then it can’t get any worse, right?”

The second Howler arrived three days later, because apparently breaking into the school broomshed in the middle of the night was the sort of thing which prompted the Headmaster to Owl one’s parents. Sirius’ third Howler arrived the following week, after the Daily Prophet had covered their daring expedition to put dungbombs in the blancmange — successfully, Sirius felt bound to point out, although they hadn’t planned on the dungbombs exploding in the kitchen and causing it to close down due to hygiene violations.

Surprisingly, Sirius’ mother stopped sending him Howlers after that, despite a series of sternly worded letters from the school authorities.

“She’s probably figured out that getting angry just encourages you,” said Rabid Hedgehog Hair — who insisted that Sirius call him by the less memorable title of James. “Next thing you know they’ll give up shouting and start saying they’re _disappointed_.”

“I really doubt that,” Sirius told him.

After several more weeks of their antics — “We don’t mean any harm, professor, it’s just for fun!” — the Headmaster seemed to despair of exercising any influence on Sirius via his family, and summoned James’ parents for a Talk.

Unfortunately, Sirius wasn’t present, but James reported that his mother and the Headmaster had a shouting match involving phrases like “nineteenth-century education techniques” and “lack of parental guidance”. James was banished to stand in the hallway midway through, but as he left his mum accused Dumbledore of being “more Machiavellian than Grindelwald ever aspired to” and the Headmaster’s face went the colour of a plum.

“It was brilliant,” James said, relaying these events to Sirius in the Gryffindor dormitory. “If only we could spy on his office, then we’d be able to hear Dumbledore annoy everyone.”

“And we’d know what the teachers were planning!” Sirius agreed.

The other occupants of the dormitory eyed them with mild alarm.

“Are you planning to learn anything, or are you just going to keep blowing things up?” asked Remus.

“Blowing things up is educational!” Sirius protested, which lead to a disagreement over Muggle science — “There’s no way flour and air on its own can explode! You need a charm” — followed by a wrestling match. After being smothered with a pillow, Sirius was forced to concede that Remus was a lot stronger than he looked, but he refused to believe the claims about explosions without concrete evidence.

The fuel-air explosion the following afternoon in Greenhouse Five was indeed educational, and earned them all detention for a fortnight. By the time the detentions were finished the mayhem-causing duo had swelled to a trio, and soon afterwards Peter succumbed to the peer pressure. In retrospect, Sirius supposed, James might have been right that the Howlers were brilliant.

\----------------------------

The rest of the magical world might use Howlers as a proxy for bad behaviour, but, Sirius decided, that approach was bollocks. Measured in Howlers, his first-year pranks were much worse than the incident with Moony and Snivellus, and Dumbledore’s expression made it clear that wasn’t true. Not to mention the way Remus went pale and looked away when he saw Sirius. His mother might shout furiously, but Remus’s silence was immeasurably worse. For the first time, Sirius experienced someone’s _disappointment_ instead of anger, and hated himself for causing it.

Sirius received a Howler that year anyway, in the kitchen of James’ house where Sirius had arrived the previous night clutching all his belongings.

James’ mum had embraced everything about the sixties except tie-dye, and was as different from the Blacks as one could possibly imagine. The house was messy and welcoming, with an assortment of cats that eyed Sirius superciliously and a huge garden full of wildflowers and home-grown vegetables. When Sirius arrived looking bedraggled, James’ mum hugged him and told stay as long as he wanted.

“That might be forever,” James pointed out, standing on the stairs in his dressing gown.

“Stay as long as you need, Sirius,” she replied calmly, and removed two cats from what was to become Sirius’ bedroom.

They were eating home-made jam on rather peculiar toast — why did she put all these weird seeds in it? — the morning after Sirius’ arrival when the Owl soared in. The envelope begun to singe the instant it landed on the table, so Sirius grabbed it and fled. He was nearly at the front door when the envelope burst open and his mother’s voice began screaming.

“ — dishonouring the family name … never been so disgusted. .. brother will inherit —”

“No wonder you want to get away from a family like that,” James’ mother said firmly, flourishing her wand. With a loud bang the Howler burst into a flames that reached up to the ceiling and then disappeared leaving a cloud of ash.

“There, no need to listen to it,” she said calmly. “Now we can finish our breakfast.”

\----------------------------

Sirius didn’t expect to hear from his mother again after leaving home, but he was wrong. The fifth and final Howler arrived after he left Hogwarts, as he and Remus were sprawled on the floor of their new — and as yet unfurnished — flat. The air was thick with summer heat, creating a haze over the city, and the windows were flung open. Sirius’ first goal upon leaving school was to live with Moony — success! — and his second was not to get up early without a damned good reason. As a result they were asleep in a tangle of bedclothes when his mother’s Owl soared through the window and the Howler exploded with noise beside them.

“Jesus!” Remus said, flailing wildly.

“Fucking Merlin’s bollocks,” Sirius grumbled and pulled the pillow over his head.

“Do something!” Remus yelled.

Sirius tugged the pillow firmly over his ears and didn’t emerge until the noise stopped.

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re still calm in a crisis,” Remus said ruefully.

“It’s not a crisis, it’s a big symbolic occasion,” Sirius announced. “Now the flat’s really ours - getting a Howler from my mum is sort’ve like christening it.”

“Which we still haven’t done because there’s no bed,” Remus pointed out, stretching.

Sirius watched the taut line of his belly, all lean muscle and warm, ticklish skin.

“We don’t necessarily need a bed,” Sirius said, leaning close and heard Remus’ breath catch. “Remember that time in Filch’s store cupboard?”

“That was for a dare and I was sore for a week,” Remus cautioned.

“You said it was worth every twinge,” Sirius replied, pinning Remus against the floor. “In fact, I distinctly remember that when we were fucking you made a comment about - “

Remus kissed him, which was a silencing tactic Sirius had never bothered to complain about. He rolled his hips and felt Remus arch against him, hard and greedy despite his attempts at self-restraint.

Sirius kissed him hard, grazing his teeth against Remus’ lip, and enjoying the muffled moan before rolling Remus over. With or without a bed, he could press Remus into the pillows and lean in behind him, his cock brushing Remus’ arse through the thin pyjamas. Sirius mouthed the skin of Remus’ neck and felt the quivers as his hand pushed down Remus’ waistband.

Lube was the very first wandless charm he learned; most people opted for Accio or Protego, but Sirius had his priorities sorted out. He slid a finger over the pucker of Remus' arse and then inside, repeating an act they’d been doing a lot over the past year. Over time Remus has stopped needing the slow, gentle stretching of the first attempts, and now he writhed eagerly against Sirius’ hand.

“We shouldn’t do this, the neighbours will hear - “ Remus protested weakly as Sirius slid in another finger and twisted his hand, eliciting a very satisfying moan.

“Really, Sirius,” Remus said, his words stuttering, “windows. Noise!”

“Fuck it,” Sirius replied, nuzzling the skin beneath Remus’ ear, stubble sharp against his lips. “If the neighbours are home, then the Howler has already pissed them off.”

Sirius withdrew his fingers and angled his cock, glorying in the moment that Remus’ muscles unclenched and he could press into the tight heat.

“If the neighbours hate us already, then we should take advantage,” Sirius said, breathlessly, pressing deeper. “It can’t get any worse.”  
 


End file.
